A Quick Reply Isn’t Enough – To “Snobby Nurse”

My little tiny corner of the internet is a humble and not very visited place. Or at least it wasn’t until I penned a vent/rant about a chance encounter with another nurse at a local Starbucks. That one post has, in less than two days, had just shy of 1,000 views. That’s pretty amazing to me, since my previous best post was 140 views.  I’m told that it really made the rounds on Facebook. I didn’t really know how far it had traveled and how widely it had spread because I was, as night shift nurses are so fond of doing, sleeping during the day yesterday and working all last night.

In a moment that proves just how small the internet manages to make our world I got a response to my blog post from the nurse with whom I had the encounter. At first I read her words and I thought of just posting a quick reply to her comment … but then I realized there is no way conceivable in which that is an appropriate response to her kind words. So instead I’m going to re-post her comment here along with my reply to her. I can only hope that this garners as much response as my original vent, because it should. It was one of those moments that makes you stop and realize that there is a glimmer of hope in humanity and that “Snobby Nurse” is really a class act.

Her comment:

I am so sorry that you obtained so much from our brief encounter. I’m sorry we didn’t get to go through a proper introduction. I, too was a Lpn for 10 years before getting said RN degree. Maybe I came off rude & for that I am sorry. I did not mean anything as you took it. I was running late for my nightshift & I just cut the conversation short w/out thinking how it affected you. I am not a snob, just started the nightshift & had barely had any sleep. I have also worked in long term care w/some amazing CNAs & LPNs, I have total respect for all they do. I figured out that long term care was not for me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you..in my experience in long term care I never saw a RN doing any type of “dirty work” (just goes to show, I too have worked w/some “snobby” RNs who thought they were too good for that) I have cleaned & changed people from the nursing home, placed catheters, changed beds, & held buckets while people vomit. I did not mean to come across like I am disgusted by those things, just the fact that I don’t do it every day as in a long term setting. It is for some people, I tried it…not for me. I admire you & by no means meant any offense to you. When I saw this post shared on a friends wall & read it I was mortified. I am truly sorry. Shall we meet again I will apologize in person & maybe we can call truce. Looking back on conversation, I was short & came across wrong. Truly sorry!

Here is my reply:

Dear Fellow Tired Nurse (formerly “Snobby Nurse”)

I would like to accept your apology, but only if you in turn will accept mine.

I suppose I am a bit overly sensitive on the subject of my job. As I mentioned in my original post, I am a bit burnt out – in fact I think I am a lot burnt out. To the point of questioning why I do what I do and if I made a mistake by getting a degree in nursing as opposed to Art History or Accounting. I’ve been told by some well-meaning friends that now that I’ve been in the long-term care setting as a Registered Nurse I may, in fact, be stuck in long-term care for … well … the long-term. Basically that once you’re a long-term care nurse (particularly as a RN) you’re pretty much stuck in long-term care because hospital hiring managers and DONs won’t take you seriously. Since I’m hoping to work in several different fields of nursing over the course of my career, this is disheartening (but seemingly accurate) news. My frustration over that isn’t usually far from the surface – in large part because questions about my career choices aren’t far from the surface.

As a result of those words from my friends and my own doubts I was more than a bit thin-skinned to your comments. I can also say without a shadow of doubt that my own long night shifts, sleepless days, and chronic sleep deprivation certainly don’t combine to make me any less sensitive, or apparently objective.

So for my part in the misunderstanding that was our brief encounter, I am very sorry.

I would like to thank you for taking the time to respond to me, and for doing it so kindly. I realize that many would have taken my words and tone as an invitation to be as snarky as I was. That you didn’t respond with anger or sarcasm speaks volumes about you. I misjudged you, and for that I also apologize.

I hope that by sharing your comment and my response in its own blog post that I can underscore how sorry I am for my knee-jerk reaction. But also I hope in some small way to repair your “reputation” (even if only you know who you are).

Should we ever have the opportunity to meet again, I would very much like to buy your coffee (with as many espresso shots as you need).

Wishing you all of the best – with my deepest thanks and most sincere apologies,

Carole